The definition of a split second: the time it takes for something (a word, a phrase, an action, a look, a song, etc.) from the past to deceive your emotions into thinking it is the present. The feelings can be good or bad, however it has been my experience that the negative emotions triggered are much stronger than positive ones. Triggers from the past make feelings associated with them become the present. Because we can be overwhelmed by these emotions in the tiniest instant we, as a general rule, are not ready for the range of emotions we suddenly feel and will automatically react in the way we did when the experience first happened.
Maybe I'm the only one who deals with this ... but I doubt it. We all have triggers. When they are negative triggers they are commonly referred to as 'buttons.' Most everyone is familiar with the phrase "pushing my buttons" ... a confession (conscious or unconscious) that we have wounds in our hearts and/or mind that still need healing.
I'm not a psychologist (got kicked out of Christian college before I could get my degree, but that's another story), but I do know something about having to deal with my buttons. During the last year it has become apparent that I have several buttons ... ones I didn't even know were there. I'm a reasonably intelligent human being on most days, so I had to ask myself why I wasn't aware of their existence until this past year. The answer: nobody was pushing them.
Have you ever thought you were "over" something and then found out you really weren't?
That's happened a lot this past year. I married the most wonderful man God ever created and we are coming up on our first anniversary. The other night we laughed about all we've experienced in just one year - it seems like a truckload of stuff has had to be dealt with, on both sides. We have pushed each others' buttons, not even knowing they existed until they were pushed. It took a New York minute to find out they were there! We've gone toe-to-toe on several occasions, reacting to what was said/done as if we were dealing with the person who caused those buttons to exist in the first place.
It amazes me how our minds work. They are the most advanced 'storage device' on the planet! Every experience we've ever had, every emotion, every image we've seen, every piece of information we've ever learned, are all recorded in our brain. We do not consciously acknowledge all that is in there, but it's there nonetheless. All that is needed to access a certain piece of information or a certain emotion is a trigger - the password, if you will.
Suddenly you will find yourself - emotionally - transported in time to the place where you first experienced that emotion in such an intense way that it affected you for life. At least, until this moment in time.
Did you know you can diffuse and disarm the triggers in your life? I know this to be true because I've spent the last year doing just that. A big key is to realize that the people with whom you surround yourself now are not the people who hurt you. (Hopefully you've made wiser choices than you did in the past - I know I have.) It is important to keep your wits about you when a button has been pushed. Do NOT let the old emotions overwhelm you and deceive you into feeling that the past is starting all over again. Once you allow the past to become the present, at the very least it will cause friction with the one that inadvertently pushed the unseen button, and at worst it will take you down The Dark Vortex of the Past and suck you into hopelessness. Neither of these results are good, nor are any of the options in-between.
Here is an eternal truth that cannot be changed: What you feed grows, what you starve dies.
Because everyone's buttons are different, I will leave it to you to apply this truth to your own situation. You may not have anyone in your life at the moment to push your buttons so you don't have a button on which to apply them - or you don't even realize that you even have buttons. If that's the case, enjoy life until such time your buttons are pushed.
If you do find yourself fighting things from your past, now would be a good time to sit down and evaluate the button. Exactly what emotion(s) are you feeling when that button is pushed? What took place that caused the button to be created? Who caused that button to be created? Have you taken, or are you taking, steps to distance yourself from that person/situation so you can think objectively away from the line of fire? Do you have someone you can talk with - honestly - and who will be honest with you?
These are all important things to consider. But identifying the problem and answering the "whys" is not enough. We need to be healed, not just enlightened. Enlightenment just makes you aware that 1) you have a wound; and 2) the severity of the wound. Enlightenment makes you aware that you need healing, but it doesn't heal. Ditto for time. The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is false. Time puts distance between you and the occurrence of the wound, but it doesn't heal.
There are a few things that do heal wounds from the past: Forgiveness, Love, and the intimately personal touch of God's Holy Spirit.
I've touched on forgiveness in another blog so I won't go into all that. Just know that by forgiving someone you are not saying what they did was OK. It is never OK to hurt someone. What you are doing by choosing to forgive is handing God the permission slip to deal with them as He sees fit for what they've done. You take yourself off of the judge's seat and let God sit in your stead, trusting He will do what's right by you and them. Forgiveness frees YOU!
Love is not a feeling, it's action. It's a choice. We can choose to show love by any act of kindness, generosity, forgiveness, mercy, etc. Warm fuzzies are nice, but feelings are weak and fickle and change with the circumstance. Love is strong. It withstands much and accomplishes more than any fleeting feeling ever will. (Read I Corinthians 13 to see how you stack up in the Love Department)
God's love is the strongest of all. It loves in a way that is supernatural. It is not affected by life's circumstances or how it is treated. It has, does, and always will, stand the test of time. He promised His Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth, and that the truth will set us free. Free from our shortcomings, our sin, our wounds, our failures ... free from our past. He wants a bright future for all of us, and that can't be obtained when we're being paralyzed by the past. Allow God to love you and the Holy Spirit to heal you so you can receive His gift of freedom. Getting rid of the past is quite a present.
