Psalm 11:4-5
"The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord's throne is in heaven, His eyes behold; His eyelids test and prove the children of men. The Lord tests and proves the unyieldingly righteous, but His soul abhors the wicked and him who loves violence."
Have you ever felt like the inspiration for the song, "You and Me Against the World?" Let's take it one step further. Ever felt like there was no "you and me" about it ... it was just you against the world? Most of us have been there. If you, like me, are a person of faith, we know that we are never TRULY alone because God is always with us. But what about those times when it seems that even God has disappeared? I don't mean for a few hours or a few days. I'm talking months or years on end. Before anyone leaves a comment that God would never do that to His children, let me assure you that He has, does, and many of us have the canceled ticket to prove we've been on that ride.
If you find you are currently experiencing the aforementioned and can't for the life of you figure out where God has gone - or why He has abandoned you when He solemnly promised He would never leave us or forsake us - take comfort in the above scripture verses.
When I first read these verses I thought to myself, "What does that mean? How is it that God's EYELIDS test people?" It makes sense to me that the scripture declares that God's "eyes behold." He sees everything. Nothing escapes His notice. Then I realized what He was saying ... God's eyelids appear when He shuts His eyes. This will only truly make sense to someone who has cried out in their agony, "God, don't You SEE what's going on?? Don't You CARE?? Why are You letting this happen?!" When the pain has gotten to be way more than we can take, it is only made worse when all we get in response to our cries is deafening silence.
Why would a loving God do this to His own? The answer is in the same verse: "His eyelids test and prove the children of men. The Lord tests and proves the unyieldingly righteous..."
I had to ponder this. Every human being is promised trials and tribulations while they are living on this Earth. You don't have to be a person of faith for this to occur, you just have to be breathing. (It's a statement of fact from God, whether you believe in Him or not.) But there is a special testing for those who claim Christ as their Savior AND who have been faithful to walk in a manner worthy of their calling (notice I didn't say they've done everything PERFECTLY!), having held to their faith through previously difficult circumstances. These saints will be tested by God's silence. So much so that when God chooses to make His presence known again these same saints are "proven."
Steel is not steel until it's been proven. Before steel undergoes the transformation process it is iron. The simplified version of the process is this: Intense heat is applied to remove impurities. The iron is transformed into incredibly strong steel by the end of the process.
Most people are happy to be iron. They'd rather live with their impurities (after all, they're not THAT bad ... right?) than stay in the furnace long enough to be transformed into steel. It's easy to say we want more of God, but few are faithful enough to endure the full duration of the testing and proving process.
My own proving period took two and a half years. Yes, YEARS. In my anguish I said many things to God of which I'm now ashamed. I accused Him of punishing me for no apparent reason; of breaking His promise never to leave or forsake me; of not being a loving God; and worse. Yet, even in my deepest despair, I knew He was my only hope. I kept hanging on - by the thinnest thread at times! - to what I knew to be truth: "A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness He will bring forth justice;" (Isaiah 42:3). As badly as I was hurting, I knew He would not let it take my life. He would rescue me in HIS due time ... which He did. Since God is no respecter of persons, He will do the same for you.
I can tell you I never thought I'd be able to say I'm thankful for going through that hell. It DID make me stronger. I was purged of impurities I didn't even know were there. It's amazing what comes to the top when a fire is lit underneath! My knowledge of the Holy One and His heart, as well as His character, is SO much greater and so much DIFFERENT than what it was. There are no words to express what God did in me during those two and a half years. I now have unshakable faith in an infinitely loving and powerful God. Now I have to work on seeing myself through His eyes.
I have a feeling that will take longer than two and a half years.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Making of a NEW Year - 2011
I emailed this to some friends New Year's morning and was asked to post it on my blog.
My first thoughts as I woke up this morning were, "So many lives, so many needs ... what a HUGE God we serve!" I have a relationship with each of you, all of them different than any of the others. I appreciate that about you ... you are your own unique person with your own quirks and talents and faults that make you the incredible individual you are. What I like best about the quagmire that make up our beings is that we have lived enough life to laugh at the best parts of us and have learned to accept the worst, knowing that God is BIG ENOUGH to change what needs changing in us if we allow Him the time and methods HE chooses to do so.
Every one of you mean something to me in a very deep way. I won't pretend to know what God has in store for each of us this year, but I do know WE have a big say in it. Abel learned that lesson last night. All week long he was bellyaching and complaining about "how STUPID it is that people want to celebrate New Year's. It's just another day. It's no different than any other day. It's STUPID!" Soooooo, Kenny and I canceled our plans to go to the Pelican Drop (they drop a lit-up plastic pelican instead of a ball) in downtown Pensacola and stayed home. We had no desire to listen to a disgruntled teenager whine and complain the entire night, acting like he's too cool to be impressed by anything and too intelligent to enjoy what all the idiots at the celebration are enjoying (poor things, they are too stupid to know they shouldn't be happy to see another year of life and all the possibilities it brings). When the clock hit midnight and Kenny and I wished each other a Happy New Year, Abel handed me a piece of paper on which he had written, "Oh wow. What a great way to celebrate the New Year. We did nothing." To which I replied, "You have reaped what you have sown. You didn't get the blessings we had planned for tonight because of your whining and complaining all week about how stupid it is to celebrate. You got what you wanted, and you're still not happy."
Abel is a miserable person right now. He's not happy with the way life is because it hasn't measured up to what he thinks it should be. He's negative about EVERYTHING and it is a constant drain on the rest of us, which makes it difficult for us to WANT to be around him. He is expecting someone or some thing to suddenly change everything for him, but what he's giving out he is getting back. WE aren't doing that, it is a Law of the Universe that God Himself set in motion before the beginning of time as we know it began. I sat Abel down and told him that HE is the only one who can change his mind and attitude. What he speaks and believes is going to come to pass, whether to the good or the bad. Hopefully, he will see the wisdom in choosing the good and actually ask God to help him see it.
I don't want "life as usual" this year. I have spent the past few months sending out my resume' to countless employers, but have heard nothing back. That gets discouraging. Knowing I am a good employee and hard worker, knowing I can bring benefits above and beyond my skills to any office, it is hard not to hear ANYTHING. We could whine and complain about the lack of money, Kenny's prostate cancer, Abel's tidal waves of negativity, the pain I live with every day due to two car accidents that weren't my fault ... the list could go on ad nauseum. But why? Why complain? Every negative word out of my mouth turns my boat around and heads me back into the Sea of Turmoil. God wants my boat headed to the shore, where He stands waiting to receive me and bless me with every good thing He greatly desires to give. Every one of the circumstances with which we are dealing could change in an instant, and they WILL, at God's appointed time for each one of them. We would better spend our time while we wait focusing on God's heart and getting to know Him more intimately. We can reach the shore and His open arms much sooner if we stop turning the boat around with our words and attitudes. This is not just a lesson for a disgruntled teenager, but for all of us who are "spiritual beings having a human experience" while we are here on earth.
So, my dear friends, may THIS year BE WHAT YOU MAKE IT. Kenny has taught me many things since we've been married, and one of them is that God gave us a brain and expects us to use it. I was one who wouldn't do anything unless God specifically told me to do it because I was deathly afraid of making the wrong decision. What Kenny has learned from me is that you don't do whatever you want and ask God to bless it. There's a balance. God is not a consultant or a contract worker. He's GOD. There's a reason He gives us wisdom and principles in His word ... they are the basis and foundation for making wise decisions. If we make plans and decisions based on scriptural wisdom, they will have the blessing of God. If we do whatever we want with the "Oh, by the way, God, please bless this" attitude ... well, good luck with that.
Many of us are undertaking new paths at the moment. We each have our own set of circumstances with which we're dealing, fraught with their own pitfalls. The good news is, we can navigate our individual roads by KNOWING the map we've been given in the Bible. Know God's principles, but most importantly, know God. Make your plans according to His principles. Can't find your SPECIFIC situation in scripture? Then use the wisdom written in Ephesians to make your plans ... we are told to "let peace be your umpire." If you want to do something (sell or buy a house, change jobs, move to a new area, etc.) but there is no specific "do or don't" in scripture, then give it the umpire test. Do you feel a red flag in your spirit about your plan? You know that feeling ... that twinge of deep doubt that says, "I really don't know about this." THAT red flag. If you don't feel anything - or a deep peace - then continue with your plans, making sure to stay in constant communication with God. He WILL guide us! He PROMISES that!
Sooooo, KNOW GOD and MAKE PLANS! I pray for each and every one of you to be filled with His joy this year, starting TODAY. :-D
My first thoughts as I woke up this morning were, "So many lives, so many needs ... what a HUGE God we serve!" I have a relationship with each of you, all of them different than any of the others. I appreciate that about you ... you are your own unique person with your own quirks and talents and faults that make you the incredible individual you are. What I like best about the quagmire that make up our beings is that we have lived enough life to laugh at the best parts of us and have learned to accept the worst, knowing that God is BIG ENOUGH to change what needs changing in us if we allow Him the time and methods HE chooses to do so.
Every one of you mean something to me in a very deep way. I won't pretend to know what God has in store for each of us this year, but I do know WE have a big say in it. Abel learned that lesson last night. All week long he was bellyaching and complaining about "how STUPID it is that people want to celebrate New Year's. It's just another day. It's no different than any other day. It's STUPID!" Soooooo, Kenny and I canceled our plans to go to the Pelican Drop (they drop a lit-up plastic pelican instead of a ball) in downtown Pensacola and stayed home. We had no desire to listen to a disgruntled teenager whine and complain the entire night, acting like he's too cool to be impressed by anything and too intelligent to enjoy what all the idiots at the celebration are enjoying (poor things, they are too stupid to know they shouldn't be happy to see another year of life and all the possibilities it brings). When the clock hit midnight and Kenny and I wished each other a Happy New Year, Abel handed me a piece of paper on which he had written, "Oh wow. What a great way to celebrate the New Year. We did nothing." To which I replied, "You have reaped what you have sown. You didn't get the blessings we had planned for tonight because of your whining and complaining all week about how stupid it is to celebrate. You got what you wanted, and you're still not happy."
Abel is a miserable person right now. He's not happy with the way life is because it hasn't measured up to what he thinks it should be. He's negative about EVERYTHING and it is a constant drain on the rest of us, which makes it difficult for us to WANT to be around him. He is expecting someone or some thing to suddenly change everything for him, but what he's giving out he is getting back. WE aren't doing that, it is a Law of the Universe that God Himself set in motion before the beginning of time as we know it began. I sat Abel down and told him that HE is the only one who can change his mind and attitude. What he speaks and believes is going to come to pass, whether to the good or the bad. Hopefully, he will see the wisdom in choosing the good and actually ask God to help him see it.
I don't want "life as usual" this year. I have spent the past few months sending out my resume' to countless employers, but have heard nothing back. That gets discouraging. Knowing I am a good employee and hard worker, knowing I can bring benefits above and beyond my skills to any office, it is hard not to hear ANYTHING. We could whine and complain about the lack of money, Kenny's prostate cancer, Abel's tidal waves of negativity, the pain I live with every day due to two car accidents that weren't my fault ... the list could go on ad nauseum. But why? Why complain? Every negative word out of my mouth turns my boat around and heads me back into the Sea of Turmoil. God wants my boat headed to the shore, where He stands waiting to receive me and bless me with every good thing He greatly desires to give. Every one of the circumstances with which we are dealing could change in an instant, and they WILL, at God's appointed time for each one of them. We would better spend our time while we wait focusing on God's heart and getting to know Him more intimately. We can reach the shore and His open arms much sooner if we stop turning the boat around with our words and attitudes. This is not just a lesson for a disgruntled teenager, but for all of us who are "spiritual beings having a human experience" while we are here on earth.
So, my dear friends, may THIS year BE WHAT YOU MAKE IT. Kenny has taught me many things since we've been married, and one of them is that God gave us a brain and expects us to use it. I was one who wouldn't do anything unless God specifically told me to do it because I was deathly afraid of making the wrong decision. What Kenny has learned from me is that you don't do whatever you want and ask God to bless it. There's a balance. God is not a consultant or a contract worker. He's GOD. There's a reason He gives us wisdom and principles in His word ... they are the basis and foundation for making wise decisions. If we make plans and decisions based on scriptural wisdom, they will have the blessing of God. If we do whatever we want with the "Oh, by the way, God, please bless this" attitude ... well, good luck with that.
Many of us are undertaking new paths at the moment. We each have our own set of circumstances with which we're dealing, fraught with their own pitfalls. The good news is, we can navigate our individual roads by KNOWING the map we've been given in the Bible. Know God's principles, but most importantly, know God. Make your plans according to His principles. Can't find your SPECIFIC situation in scripture? Then use the wisdom written in Ephesians to make your plans ... we are told to "let peace be your umpire." If you want to do something (sell or buy a house, change jobs, move to a new area, etc.) but there is no specific "do or don't" in scripture, then give it the umpire test. Do you feel a red flag in your spirit about your plan? You know that feeling ... that twinge of deep doubt that says, "I really don't know about this." THAT red flag. If you don't feel anything - or a deep peace - then continue with your plans, making sure to stay in constant communication with God. He WILL guide us! He PROMISES that!
Sooooo, KNOW GOD and MAKE PLANS! I pray for each and every one of you to be filled with His joy this year, starting TODAY. :-D
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