Where does one begin to chronicle all the changes in the two years since I last posted? It seems surreal to me that so much time has passed but it certainly proves the old adage that time flies when you're having fun. Although, I would like to ad that time flies whether you are having fun or not.
After my book, "Counterfeit Faith," was published, I put in about six months of book signings and other book-related activities. Then the Lord opened a door for Michael and I to go to Orlando for a year where we worked our collective butts off. Once that assignment was finished, we came back to Mississippi and spent the last six months in God's classroom, Faith 101.
We knew God was rearranging our hearts and lives, but weren't sure where He was taking us. God puts the puzzle together one piece at a time - which is for our benefit, not His. He already knows the big picture. Each little change, each new revelation, is another puzzle piece that - when put together with enough other puzzle pieces - begins to reveal a path. Or at least the outline of one. It is not our job to question the surroundings, or what will go in that empty space, or where the border piece goes. No, it is our job to go toward what little of the path we can see. It may only be one step that is discernable, but at least it's one step on the right path. It is not for us to fret ourselves with whether or not it is the right path, for God will gently nudge us toward the proper path if we are watching and waiting for His guidance. Besides, one of the best lessons I learned a long time ago is this: there is no mistake I can make that God can't fix. He is bigger than any wrong turn I could possibly take and He is more than capable of getting me back on His chosen road for me.
Michael has realized that God has called him to preach. Not to be a pastor, but to preach. God called me to preach 19 years ago, but He has waited until this point in time to bring it all about. He wants my Sweetheart and me to minister and preach together ... how awesome is that?! If we are going to preach about faith, we must live by faith.
While we wait for God to open the next door for us, God is testing us in His refining fire. All the business we've had has all but dried up, almost overnight. It's been two months since we've had any income, and we're down to almost nothing. No doors have opened, no matter how hard or how long we have knocked. At times we have been anxious, but God keeps reminding us to trust in His timing and provision. So, we wait patiently and expectantly for God to open the right door. In the meantime, God is pouring fresh revelation into Michael and me and providing places for us to minister together.
Do we know where we're going? No. Do we know how long it will be until another job opens? No. Do we have reserves in the bank to tide us over? No. This is living by faith. Taking God at His word, trusting He will take care of such mundane things as what we wear and eat (Matthew 6:25-31), and knowing His gifts and callings are permanent (Romans 11:29) He will make a way for them to be utilized and fulfilled. It's up to us to be ready for when the door does open.
If you - like so many others - are struggling with which way to go or what to do, let me encourage you as a fellow traveler on that road to let go of all worry. It's not up to you to execute the Master's plan for your life. It's your job to seek the Master and get to know His heart and His love for you by reading and studying His word. He will see that the rest falls into place.
Matthew 6:33-34
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Monday, February 8, 2016
Thursday, October 31, 2013
WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES
My heart raced as I tore open the box left on my front porch by the mail man. The contents marked the culmination of ten months of work, countless phone calls and emails with my publisher, and even more innumerable sleepless nights. As I held the first copy of my first book in my hands, all I could do was stare at the cover as a slow grin spread across my face. I had done it. I had joined the ranks of those who could call themselves a "published author."
I had to chuckle at the myriad thoughts going through my ADHD-affected mind.One of the images spinning in my head like a twister was that of an author portrayed in old movies ... an anti-social loner who sits at a typewriter in an old two-story house somewhere on a hill, or in a quaint little suburban established (read that, old) neighborhood, such as Savannah, Georgia. No one dared to interrupt them as they hammered on their typewriters - except for the obligatory cat that must rule the author's domain. I couldn't help but take quick note of the differences between the image in my head and real life.
During the 11 months since my last post on my blog (dated November 2012), I had gotten married, moved myself, my son, and my entire life two states away, and started a ministry with my husband. Yet, I managed to get a book written - without owning a cat! My dream had finally materialized, and I was holding it in my own hands.
Suddenly, the smile on my face got smaller when another image raced through my head. This time it was a memory of a hot, muggy, Southern July night as I lay in the hammock at midnight. Glistening with perspiration under a full moon, watching fireflies create a light show while crickets chirped in the woods surrounding my house, I was nudged from my reverie by the soft whisper of the Holy Spirit of God. He spoke to my heart and simply asked, "What is your dream, Wendy?" I was used to God speaking to my heart, so that wasn't a surprise. It was the question that caught me off-guard.
"Dream?" I asked, puzzled. "Yes," God replied, "What is your dream?" I don't know how long I laid in that hammock pondering the question, but finally I said, "I have no idea. What difference does it make? I gave up on dreams a long time ago. I live in the real world now and don't have time for dreams." He didn't let me leave it at that. He never does. With gentle prodding, God said, "I want you to think about it. I want you to remember what your dreams are." For the life of me, I couldn't think of anything. Out of pure frustration I told the Him, "I just don't know! I told You, I don't have any! It's all I can do to raise three kids by myself, work and pay bills. I don't have time for dreams! Why are You asking me this?"
Still gentle, God prodded some more. "I want you to think back ... waaaaaaay back to your childhood. What did you dream about then? What did you love to do?" I laid in that hammock for the longest time, staring at the stars shining through the cedar branches, traveling through the time machine of my mind to my childhood. There it was ... plain as day. "Singing and dancing," I slowly whispered, surprised at the revelation. "Yes!" I heard Him say. I swear I could actually feel God smile. "That's what I want you to do," He said.
That did it. That broke the spell of that special moment. My pragmatic side kicked in as I said, "Um, may I remind You that I live in Podunk Number Nine where the streets roll up at 8 pm? There's no place to sing or dance around here." He said, "You leave that up to Me."
The next afternoon after work I went to the grocery store before going home. I couldn't remember what kind of pudding my son said he wanted for a school snack, so I stood in front of the rows of pudding ... waiting ... as if one of the brands was going to magically jump off the shelf into my buggy. From behind me I heard a voice say, "There's only one person in Jackson County with that color of red hair! It must be Wendy!" I turned around to see Larry, an old client of mine from my printing days. The last time I saw him was five years prior when I was making large prints of his paintings. He asked what I was doing now, so I told him all I did was work and raise kids. Larry said, "You ought to come dancing with us on Friday nights. There's a group of us that get together and go to Dothan to dance." I was stunned. In less than twenty-four hours, God had made good on His word. Shortly after I went dancing, I learned of several karaoke places in Dothan where a girlfriend and I sang on Saturdays. It may sound silly and simplistic, but doing things that are fun and bring you joy can change your entire outlook on life. Pursuing those dreams, as small as they were, lead me to think about other dreams and possibilities - one of which was writing a book. A year later, here it is in my hands.
What are your dreams? Have you given up on them, as I had? There are desires deep in the human heart that only God knows about. If you've forgotten what your dreams were, ask Him to reveal them to you. I can't promise He'll show you in twenty-four hours, but I can tell you that He will answer every sincere seeker. The best advice I can give you is to be open to new or different dreams than you had before. Sometimes God doesn't answer certain prayers because He has something better in mind. The battle comes when we think what we want is the best it can get, and God has to wait till we get to the end of ourselves before He can show us what He knows is best for us. Trust me on this one ... trust Him! He really does know what is best, even when it looks like the exact opposite. Oh, the stories I could tell about that! I share some of them in my speaking engagements, but a lot of them I keep to myself. They are truly too miraculous to be believed by most.
So go ahead, dream. Then dream some more. Then dream bigger and watch what God will do for you.
I had to chuckle at the myriad thoughts going through my ADHD-affected mind.One of the images spinning in my head like a twister was that of an author portrayed in old movies ... an anti-social loner who sits at a typewriter in an old two-story house somewhere on a hill, or in a quaint little suburban established (read that, old) neighborhood, such as Savannah, Georgia. No one dared to interrupt them as they hammered on their typewriters - except for the obligatory cat that must rule the author's domain. I couldn't help but take quick note of the differences between the image in my head and real life.
During the 11 months since my last post on my blog (dated November 2012), I had gotten married, moved myself, my son, and my entire life two states away, and started a ministry with my husband. Yet, I managed to get a book written - without owning a cat! My dream had finally materialized, and I was holding it in my own hands.
Suddenly, the smile on my face got smaller when another image raced through my head. This time it was a memory of a hot, muggy, Southern July night as I lay in the hammock at midnight. Glistening with perspiration under a full moon, watching fireflies create a light show while crickets chirped in the woods surrounding my house, I was nudged from my reverie by the soft whisper of the Holy Spirit of God. He spoke to my heart and simply asked, "What is your dream, Wendy?" I was used to God speaking to my heart, so that wasn't a surprise. It was the question that caught me off-guard.
"Dream?" I asked, puzzled. "Yes," God replied, "What is your dream?" I don't know how long I laid in that hammock pondering the question, but finally I said, "I have no idea. What difference does it make? I gave up on dreams a long time ago. I live in the real world now and don't have time for dreams." He didn't let me leave it at that. He never does. With gentle prodding, God said, "I want you to think about it. I want you to remember what your dreams are." For the life of me, I couldn't think of anything. Out of pure frustration I told the Him, "I just don't know! I told You, I don't have any! It's all I can do to raise three kids by myself, work and pay bills. I don't have time for dreams! Why are You asking me this?"
Still gentle, God prodded some more. "I want you to think back ... waaaaaaay back to your childhood. What did you dream about then? What did you love to do?" I laid in that hammock for the longest time, staring at the stars shining through the cedar branches, traveling through the time machine of my mind to my childhood. There it was ... plain as day. "Singing and dancing," I slowly whispered, surprised at the revelation. "Yes!" I heard Him say. I swear I could actually feel God smile. "That's what I want you to do," He said.
That did it. That broke the spell of that special moment. My pragmatic side kicked in as I said, "Um, may I remind You that I live in Podunk Number Nine where the streets roll up at 8 pm? There's no place to sing or dance around here." He said, "You leave that up to Me."
The next afternoon after work I went to the grocery store before going home. I couldn't remember what kind of pudding my son said he wanted for a school snack, so I stood in front of the rows of pudding ... waiting ... as if one of the brands was going to magically jump off the shelf into my buggy. From behind me I heard a voice say, "There's only one person in Jackson County with that color of red hair! It must be Wendy!" I turned around to see Larry, an old client of mine from my printing days. The last time I saw him was five years prior when I was making large prints of his paintings. He asked what I was doing now, so I told him all I did was work and raise kids. Larry said, "You ought to come dancing with us on Friday nights. There's a group of us that get together and go to Dothan to dance." I was stunned. In less than twenty-four hours, God had made good on His word. Shortly after I went dancing, I learned of several karaoke places in Dothan where a girlfriend and I sang on Saturdays. It may sound silly and simplistic, but doing things that are fun and bring you joy can change your entire outlook on life. Pursuing those dreams, as small as they were, lead me to think about other dreams and possibilities - one of which was writing a book. A year later, here it is in my hands.
What are your dreams? Have you given up on them, as I had? There are desires deep in the human heart that only God knows about. If you've forgotten what your dreams were, ask Him to reveal them to you. I can't promise He'll show you in twenty-four hours, but I can tell you that He will answer every sincere seeker. The best advice I can give you is to be open to new or different dreams than you had before. Sometimes God doesn't answer certain prayers because He has something better in mind. The battle comes when we think what we want is the best it can get, and God has to wait till we get to the end of ourselves before He can show us what He knows is best for us. Trust me on this one ... trust Him! He really does know what is best, even when it looks like the exact opposite. Oh, the stories I could tell about that! I share some of them in my speaking engagements, but a lot of them I keep to myself. They are truly too miraculous to be believed by most.
So go ahead, dream. Then dream some more. Then dream bigger and watch what God will do for you.
Friday, November 30, 2012
My Recent Aha Moment
Once again I find that I have given everything I've got, only to once again find that it isn't appreciated. Not only unappreciated, but told it isn't good enough. The reasoning - and I use the term loosely - I'm told, is to motivate me to perform better. What??! Perform better?? I have moved mountains! I've accomplished more in 4 months than my predecessor did in their entire considerable time there. Because I work well under pressure, the "motivation" is to put more pressure on me than any one person could possibly handle and then tell me what I've done isn't good enough, with the intended result of getting even more production? OK, this is where the horses come to a neck-breaking halt.
I was wounded to the core when I got this evaluation. I'm not perfect and don't pretend to be. I own up to my mistakes and am willing to take the consequences. I will flat out tell you if I'm not capable of doing something ... after all, wisdom dictates that we know our strengths as well as our weaknesses. Tell me I have idiosyncrasies that drive you crazy. Tell me my sense of humor is not your cup of tea. Tell me I'm too passionate about things I view as important. Tell me I'm lousy at video games or a host of other things ... but DON'T tell me my work is not good enough. I will fight to the death on this count! I never demand what I'm not willing to do or give. My goal is excellence in anything I do. Do I always reach that goal? Nope. But if I haven't nailed it, I darn sure come close.
When I got to my house I headed straight to my room to continue the talk with God that I had started when I first got in the car to drive home. I poured out my heart and tears to the Lord. After so many years of being trampled on and unappreciated, I have finally come into my own. God has had to do a LOT of healing in me. He had to grow me into accepting who He made me to be, flaws and all. It's taken a long, long (did I mention long?) time to finally understand that God does not want me treated badly. I have every right to breathe the same air as everyone else. I spent way too many years trying to please people who could not be pleased. It's a power trip ... a quiet form of bullying ... to never be able to be pleased. It's not about having "high standards" because I have high standards! What I don't have is a warped sense of reality that I impose on others. I've always believed the old saying, "Shoot for the moon. If you miss at least you'll be among the stars." Don't tell me to shoot for the moon, give me a paper airplane to get there, then tell me I'm not flying the plane good enough!
As I was telling all this to God, He told me to go to bed and He'd speak to me about it in the morning. What?? Like I could sleep with all this going on in my head! I said, "Lord! How am I supposed to sleep with all this going on? Why can't we talk about it now?" God's quiet but matter-of-fact reply was brilliant: "I'll STILL be GOD in the morning."
After seeing the pure, simple, truth of that statement I had an "aha moment." Yes. Yes, He WILL still be God in the morning ... which means I don't have to fret tonight, or any other time. God's got this.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
WHEN GOD CLOSES HIS EYES
Psalm 11:4-5
"The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord's throne is in heaven, His eyes behold; His eyelids test and prove the children of men. The Lord tests and proves the unyieldingly righteous, but His soul abhors the wicked and him who loves violence."
Have you ever felt like the inspiration for the song, "You and Me Against the World?" Let's take it one step further. Ever felt like there was no "you and me" about it ... it was just you against the world? Most of us have been there. If you, like me, are a person of faith, we know that we are never TRULY alone because God is always with us. But what about those times when it seems that even God has disappeared? I don't mean for a few hours or a few days. I'm talking months or years on end. Before anyone leaves a comment that God would never do that to His children, let me assure you that He has, does, and many of us have the canceled ticket to prove we've been on that ride.
If you find you are currently experiencing the aforementioned and can't for the life of you figure out where God has gone - or why He has abandoned you when He solemnly promised He would never leave us or forsake us - take comfort in the above scripture verses.
When I first read these verses I thought to myself, "What does that mean? How is it that God's EYELIDS test people?" It makes sense to me that the scripture declares that God's "eyes behold." He sees everything. Nothing escapes His notice. Then I realized what He was saying ... God's eyelids appear when He shuts His eyes. This will only truly make sense to someone who has cried out in their agony, "God, don't You SEE what's going on?? Don't You CARE?? Why are You letting this happen?!" When the pain has gotten to be way more than we can take, it is only made worse when all we get in response to our cries is deafening silence.
Why would a loving God do this to His own? The answer is in the same verse: "His eyelids test and prove the children of men. The Lord tests and proves the unyieldingly righteous..."
I had to ponder this. Every human being is promised trials and tribulations while they are living on this Earth. You don't have to be a person of faith for this to occur, you just have to be breathing. (It's a statement of fact from God, whether you believe in Him or not.) But there is a special testing for those who claim Christ as their Savior AND who have been faithful to walk in a manner worthy of their calling (notice I didn't say they've done everything PERFECTLY!), having held to their faith through previously difficult circumstances. These saints will be tested by God's silence. So much so that when God chooses to make His presence known again these same saints are "proven."
Steel is not steel until it's been proven. Before steel undergoes the transformation process it is iron. The simplified version of the process is this: Intense heat is applied to remove impurities. The iron is transformed into incredibly strong steel by the end of the process.
Most people are happy to be iron. They'd rather live with their impurities (after all, they're not THAT bad ... right?) than stay in the furnace long enough to be transformed into steel. It's easy to say we want more of God, but few are faithful enough to endure the full duration of the testing and proving process.
My own proving period took two and a half years. Yes, YEARS. In my anguish I said many things to God of which I'm now ashamed. I accused Him of punishing me for no apparent reason; of breaking His promise never to leave or forsake me; of not being a loving God; and worse. Yet, even in my deepest despair, I knew He was my only hope. I kept hanging on - by the thinnest thread at times! - to what I knew to be truth: "A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness He will bring forth justice;" (Isaiah 42:3). As badly as I was hurting, I knew He would not let it take my life. He would rescue me in HIS due time ... which He did. Since God is no respecter of persons, He will do the same for you.
I can tell you I never thought I'd be able to say I'm thankful for going through that hell. It DID make me stronger. I was purged of impurities I didn't even know were there. It's amazing what comes to the top when a fire is lit underneath! My knowledge of the Holy One and His heart, as well as His character, is SO much greater and so much DIFFERENT than what it was. There are no words to express what God did in me during those two and a half years. I now have unshakable faith in an infinitely loving and powerful God. Now I have to work on seeing myself through His eyes.
I have a feeling that will take longer than two and a half years.
"The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord's throne is in heaven, His eyes behold; His eyelids test and prove the children of men. The Lord tests and proves the unyieldingly righteous, but His soul abhors the wicked and him who loves violence."
Have you ever felt like the inspiration for the song, "You and Me Against the World?" Let's take it one step further. Ever felt like there was no "you and me" about it ... it was just you against the world? Most of us have been there. If you, like me, are a person of faith, we know that we are never TRULY alone because God is always with us. But what about those times when it seems that even God has disappeared? I don't mean for a few hours or a few days. I'm talking months or years on end. Before anyone leaves a comment that God would never do that to His children, let me assure you that He has, does, and many of us have the canceled ticket to prove we've been on that ride.
If you find you are currently experiencing the aforementioned and can't for the life of you figure out where God has gone - or why He has abandoned you when He solemnly promised He would never leave us or forsake us - take comfort in the above scripture verses.
When I first read these verses I thought to myself, "What does that mean? How is it that God's EYELIDS test people?" It makes sense to me that the scripture declares that God's "eyes behold." He sees everything. Nothing escapes His notice. Then I realized what He was saying ... God's eyelids appear when He shuts His eyes. This will only truly make sense to someone who has cried out in their agony, "God, don't You SEE what's going on?? Don't You CARE?? Why are You letting this happen?!" When the pain has gotten to be way more than we can take, it is only made worse when all we get in response to our cries is deafening silence.
Why would a loving God do this to His own? The answer is in the same verse: "His eyelids test and prove the children of men. The Lord tests and proves the unyieldingly righteous..."
I had to ponder this. Every human being is promised trials and tribulations while they are living on this Earth. You don't have to be a person of faith for this to occur, you just have to be breathing. (It's a statement of fact from God, whether you believe in Him or not.) But there is a special testing for those who claim Christ as their Savior AND who have been faithful to walk in a manner worthy of their calling (notice I didn't say they've done everything PERFECTLY!), having held to their faith through previously difficult circumstances. These saints will be tested by God's silence. So much so that when God chooses to make His presence known again these same saints are "proven."
Steel is not steel until it's been proven. Before steel undergoes the transformation process it is iron. The simplified version of the process is this: Intense heat is applied to remove impurities. The iron is transformed into incredibly strong steel by the end of the process.
Most people are happy to be iron. They'd rather live with their impurities (after all, they're not THAT bad ... right?) than stay in the furnace long enough to be transformed into steel. It's easy to say we want more of God, but few are faithful enough to endure the full duration of the testing and proving process.
My own proving period took two and a half years. Yes, YEARS. In my anguish I said many things to God of which I'm now ashamed. I accused Him of punishing me for no apparent reason; of breaking His promise never to leave or forsake me; of not being a loving God; and worse. Yet, even in my deepest despair, I knew He was my only hope. I kept hanging on - by the thinnest thread at times! - to what I knew to be truth: "A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness He will bring forth justice;" (Isaiah 42:3). As badly as I was hurting, I knew He would not let it take my life. He would rescue me in HIS due time ... which He did. Since God is no respecter of persons, He will do the same for you.
I can tell you I never thought I'd be able to say I'm thankful for going through that hell. It DID make me stronger. I was purged of impurities I didn't even know were there. It's amazing what comes to the top when a fire is lit underneath! My knowledge of the Holy One and His heart, as well as His character, is SO much greater and so much DIFFERENT than what it was. There are no words to express what God did in me during those two and a half years. I now have unshakable faith in an infinitely loving and powerful God. Now I have to work on seeing myself through His eyes.
I have a feeling that will take longer than two and a half years.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Making of a NEW Year - 2011
I emailed this to some friends New Year's morning and was asked to post it on my blog.
My first thoughts as I woke up this morning were, "So many lives, so many needs ... what a HUGE God we serve!" I have a relationship with each of you, all of them different than any of the others. I appreciate that about you ... you are your own unique person with your own quirks and talents and faults that make you the incredible individual you are. What I like best about the quagmire that make up our beings is that we have lived enough life to laugh at the best parts of us and have learned to accept the worst, knowing that God is BIG ENOUGH to change what needs changing in us if we allow Him the time and methods HE chooses to do so.
Every one of you mean something to me in a very deep way. I won't pretend to know what God has in store for each of us this year, but I do know WE have a big say in it. Abel learned that lesson last night. All week long he was bellyaching and complaining about "how STUPID it is that people want to celebrate New Year's. It's just another day. It's no different than any other day. It's STUPID!" Soooooo, Kenny and I canceled our plans to go to the Pelican Drop (they drop a lit-up plastic pelican instead of a ball) in downtown Pensacola and stayed home. We had no desire to listen to a disgruntled teenager whine and complain the entire night, acting like he's too cool to be impressed by anything and too intelligent to enjoy what all the idiots at the celebration are enjoying (poor things, they are too stupid to know they shouldn't be happy to see another year of life and all the possibilities it brings). When the clock hit midnight and Kenny and I wished each other a Happy New Year, Abel handed me a piece of paper on which he had written, "Oh wow. What a great way to celebrate the New Year. We did nothing." To which I replied, "You have reaped what you have sown. You didn't get the blessings we had planned for tonight because of your whining and complaining all week about how stupid it is to celebrate. You got what you wanted, and you're still not happy."
Abel is a miserable person right now. He's not happy with the way life is because it hasn't measured up to what he thinks it should be. He's negative about EVERYTHING and it is a constant drain on the rest of us, which makes it difficult for us to WANT to be around him. He is expecting someone or some thing to suddenly change everything for him, but what he's giving out he is getting back. WE aren't doing that, it is a Law of the Universe that God Himself set in motion before the beginning of time as we know it began. I sat Abel down and told him that HE is the only one who can change his mind and attitude. What he speaks and believes is going to come to pass, whether to the good or the bad. Hopefully, he will see the wisdom in choosing the good and actually ask God to help him see it.
I don't want "life as usual" this year. I have spent the past few months sending out my resume' to countless employers, but have heard nothing back. That gets discouraging. Knowing I am a good employee and hard worker, knowing I can bring benefits above and beyond my skills to any office, it is hard not to hear ANYTHING. We could whine and complain about the lack of money, Kenny's prostate cancer, Abel's tidal waves of negativity, the pain I live with every day due to two car accidents that weren't my fault ... the list could go on ad nauseum. But why? Why complain? Every negative word out of my mouth turns my boat around and heads me back into the Sea of Turmoil. God wants my boat headed to the shore, where He stands waiting to receive me and bless me with every good thing He greatly desires to give. Every one of the circumstances with which we are dealing could change in an instant, and they WILL, at God's appointed time for each one of them. We would better spend our time while we wait focusing on God's heart and getting to know Him more intimately. We can reach the shore and His open arms much sooner if we stop turning the boat around with our words and attitudes. This is not just a lesson for a disgruntled teenager, but for all of us who are "spiritual beings having a human experience" while we are here on earth.
So, my dear friends, may THIS year BE WHAT YOU MAKE IT. Kenny has taught me many things since we've been married, and one of them is that God gave us a brain and expects us to use it. I was one who wouldn't do anything unless God specifically told me to do it because I was deathly afraid of making the wrong decision. What Kenny has learned from me is that you don't do whatever you want and ask God to bless it. There's a balance. God is not a consultant or a contract worker. He's GOD. There's a reason He gives us wisdom and principles in His word ... they are the basis and foundation for making wise decisions. If we make plans and decisions based on scriptural wisdom, they will have the blessing of God. If we do whatever we want with the "Oh, by the way, God, please bless this" attitude ... well, good luck with that.
Many of us are undertaking new paths at the moment. We each have our own set of circumstances with which we're dealing, fraught with their own pitfalls. The good news is, we can navigate our individual roads by KNOWING the map we've been given in the Bible. Know God's principles, but most importantly, know God. Make your plans according to His principles. Can't find your SPECIFIC situation in scripture? Then use the wisdom written in Ephesians to make your plans ... we are told to "let peace be your umpire." If you want to do something (sell or buy a house, change jobs, move to a new area, etc.) but there is no specific "do or don't" in scripture, then give it the umpire test. Do you feel a red flag in your spirit about your plan? You know that feeling ... that twinge of deep doubt that says, "I really don't know about this." THAT red flag. If you don't feel anything - or a deep peace - then continue with your plans, making sure to stay in constant communication with God. He WILL guide us! He PROMISES that!
Sooooo, KNOW GOD and MAKE PLANS! I pray for each and every one of you to be filled with His joy this year, starting TODAY. :-D
My first thoughts as I woke up this morning were, "So many lives, so many needs ... what a HUGE God we serve!" I have a relationship with each of you, all of them different than any of the others. I appreciate that about you ... you are your own unique person with your own quirks and talents and faults that make you the incredible individual you are. What I like best about the quagmire that make up our beings is that we have lived enough life to laugh at the best parts of us and have learned to accept the worst, knowing that God is BIG ENOUGH to change what needs changing in us if we allow Him the time and methods HE chooses to do so.
Every one of you mean something to me in a very deep way. I won't pretend to know what God has in store for each of us this year, but I do know WE have a big say in it. Abel learned that lesson last night. All week long he was bellyaching and complaining about "how STUPID it is that people want to celebrate New Year's. It's just another day. It's no different than any other day. It's STUPID!" Soooooo, Kenny and I canceled our plans to go to the Pelican Drop (they drop a lit-up plastic pelican instead of a ball) in downtown Pensacola and stayed home. We had no desire to listen to a disgruntled teenager whine and complain the entire night, acting like he's too cool to be impressed by anything and too intelligent to enjoy what all the idiots at the celebration are enjoying (poor things, they are too stupid to know they shouldn't be happy to see another year of life and all the possibilities it brings). When the clock hit midnight and Kenny and I wished each other a Happy New Year, Abel handed me a piece of paper on which he had written, "Oh wow. What a great way to celebrate the New Year. We did nothing." To which I replied, "You have reaped what you have sown. You didn't get the blessings we had planned for tonight because of your whining and complaining all week about how stupid it is to celebrate. You got what you wanted, and you're still not happy."
Abel is a miserable person right now. He's not happy with the way life is because it hasn't measured up to what he thinks it should be. He's negative about EVERYTHING and it is a constant drain on the rest of us, which makes it difficult for us to WANT to be around him. He is expecting someone or some thing to suddenly change everything for him, but what he's giving out he is getting back. WE aren't doing that, it is a Law of the Universe that God Himself set in motion before the beginning of time as we know it began. I sat Abel down and told him that HE is the only one who can change his mind and attitude. What he speaks and believes is going to come to pass, whether to the good or the bad. Hopefully, he will see the wisdom in choosing the good and actually ask God to help him see it.
I don't want "life as usual" this year. I have spent the past few months sending out my resume' to countless employers, but have heard nothing back. That gets discouraging. Knowing I am a good employee and hard worker, knowing I can bring benefits above and beyond my skills to any office, it is hard not to hear ANYTHING. We could whine and complain about the lack of money, Kenny's prostate cancer, Abel's tidal waves of negativity, the pain I live with every day due to two car accidents that weren't my fault ... the list could go on ad nauseum. But why? Why complain? Every negative word out of my mouth turns my boat around and heads me back into the Sea of Turmoil. God wants my boat headed to the shore, where He stands waiting to receive me and bless me with every good thing He greatly desires to give. Every one of the circumstances with which we are dealing could change in an instant, and they WILL, at God's appointed time for each one of them. We would better spend our time while we wait focusing on God's heart and getting to know Him more intimately. We can reach the shore and His open arms much sooner if we stop turning the boat around with our words and attitudes. This is not just a lesson for a disgruntled teenager, but for all of us who are "spiritual beings having a human experience" while we are here on earth.
So, my dear friends, may THIS year BE WHAT YOU MAKE IT. Kenny has taught me many things since we've been married, and one of them is that God gave us a brain and expects us to use it. I was one who wouldn't do anything unless God specifically told me to do it because I was deathly afraid of making the wrong decision. What Kenny has learned from me is that you don't do whatever you want and ask God to bless it. There's a balance. God is not a consultant or a contract worker. He's GOD. There's a reason He gives us wisdom and principles in His word ... they are the basis and foundation for making wise decisions. If we make plans and decisions based on scriptural wisdom, they will have the blessing of God. If we do whatever we want with the "Oh, by the way, God, please bless this" attitude ... well, good luck with that.
Many of us are undertaking new paths at the moment. We each have our own set of circumstances with which we're dealing, fraught with their own pitfalls. The good news is, we can navigate our individual roads by KNOWING the map we've been given in the Bible. Know God's principles, but most importantly, know God. Make your plans according to His principles. Can't find your SPECIFIC situation in scripture? Then use the wisdom written in Ephesians to make your plans ... we are told to "let peace be your umpire." If you want to do something (sell or buy a house, change jobs, move to a new area, etc.) but there is no specific "do or don't" in scripture, then give it the umpire test. Do you feel a red flag in your spirit about your plan? You know that feeling ... that twinge of deep doubt that says, "I really don't know about this." THAT red flag. If you don't feel anything - or a deep peace - then continue with your plans, making sure to stay in constant communication with God. He WILL guide us! He PROMISES that!
Sooooo, KNOW GOD and MAKE PLANS! I pray for each and every one of you to be filled with His joy this year, starting TODAY. :-D
Monday, July 26, 2010
Leaving The Past in the Past is a Present
The definition of a split second: the time it takes for something (a word, a phrase, an action, a look, a song, etc.) from the past to deceive your emotions into thinking it is the present. The feelings can be good or bad, however it has been my experience that the negative emotions triggered are much stronger than positive ones. Triggers from the past make feelings associated with them become the present. Because we can be overwhelmed by these emotions in the tiniest instant we, as a general rule, are not ready for the range of emotions we suddenly feel and will automatically react in the way we did when the experience first happened.
Maybe I'm the only one who deals with this ... but I doubt it. We all have triggers. When they are negative triggers they are commonly referred to as 'buttons.' Most everyone is familiar with the phrase "pushing my buttons" ... a confession (conscious or unconscious) that we have wounds in our hearts and/or mind that still need healing.
I'm not a psychologist (got kicked out of Christian college before I could get my degree, but that's another story), but I do know something about having to deal with my buttons. During the last year it has become apparent that I have several buttons ... ones I didn't even know were there. I'm a reasonably intelligent human being on most days, so I had to ask myself why I wasn't aware of their existence until this past year. The answer: nobody was pushing them.
Have you ever thought you were "over" something and then found out you really weren't?
That's happened a lot this past year. I married the most wonderful man God ever created and we are coming up on our first anniversary. The other night we laughed about all we've experienced in just one year - it seems like a truckload of stuff has had to be dealt with, on both sides. We have pushed each others' buttons, not even knowing they existed until they were pushed. It took a New York minute to find out they were there! We've gone toe-to-toe on several occasions, reacting to what was said/done as if we were dealing with the person who caused those buttons to exist in the first place.
It amazes me how our minds work. They are the most advanced 'storage device' on the planet! Every experience we've ever had, every emotion, every image we've seen, every piece of information we've ever learned, are all recorded in our brain. We do not consciously acknowledge all that is in there, but it's there nonetheless. All that is needed to access a certain piece of information or a certain emotion is a trigger - the password, if you will.
Suddenly you will find yourself - emotionally - transported in time to the place where you first experienced that emotion in such an intense way that it affected you for life. At least, until this moment in time.
Did you know you can diffuse and disarm the triggers in your life? I know this to be true because I've spent the last year doing just that. A big key is to realize that the people with whom you surround yourself now are not the people who hurt you. (Hopefully you've made wiser choices than you did in the past - I know I have.) It is important to keep your wits about you when a button has been pushed. Do NOT let the old emotions overwhelm you and deceive you into feeling that the past is starting all over again. Once you allow the past to become the present, at the very least it will cause friction with the one that inadvertently pushed the unseen button, and at worst it will take you down The Dark Vortex of the Past and suck you into hopelessness. Neither of these results are good, nor are any of the options in-between.
Here is an eternal truth that cannot be changed: What you feed grows, what you starve dies.
Because everyone's buttons are different, I will leave it to you to apply this truth to your own situation. You may not have anyone in your life at the moment to push your buttons so you don't have a button on which to apply them - or you don't even realize that you even have buttons. If that's the case, enjoy life until such time your buttons are pushed.
If you do find yourself fighting things from your past, now would be a good time to sit down and evaluate the button. Exactly what emotion(s) are you feeling when that button is pushed? What took place that caused the button to be created? Who caused that button to be created? Have you taken, or are you taking, steps to distance yourself from that person/situation so you can think objectively away from the line of fire? Do you have someone you can talk with - honestly - and who will be honest with you?
These are all important things to consider. But identifying the problem and answering the "whys" is not enough. We need to be healed, not just enlightened. Enlightenment just makes you aware that 1) you have a wound; and 2) the severity of the wound. Enlightenment makes you aware that you need healing, but it doesn't heal. Ditto for time. The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is false. Time puts distance between you and the occurrence of the wound, but it doesn't heal.
There are a few things that do heal wounds from the past: Forgiveness, Love, and the intimately personal touch of God's Holy Spirit.
I've touched on forgiveness in another blog so I won't go into all that. Just know that by forgiving someone you are not saying what they did was OK. It is never OK to hurt someone. What you are doing by choosing to forgive is handing God the permission slip to deal with them as He sees fit for what they've done. You take yourself off of the judge's seat and let God sit in your stead, trusting He will do what's right by you and them. Forgiveness frees YOU!
Love is not a feeling, it's action. It's a choice. We can choose to show love by any act of kindness, generosity, forgiveness, mercy, etc. Warm fuzzies are nice, but feelings are weak and fickle and change with the circumstance. Love is strong. It withstands much and accomplishes more than any fleeting feeling ever will. (Read I Corinthians 13 to see how you stack up in the Love Department)
God's love is the strongest of all. It loves in a way that is supernatural. It is not affected by life's circumstances or how it is treated. It has, does, and always will, stand the test of time. He promised His Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth, and that the truth will set us free. Free from our shortcomings, our sin, our wounds, our failures ... free from our past. He wants a bright future for all of us, and that can't be obtained when we're being paralyzed by the past. Allow God to love you and the Holy Spirit to heal you so you can receive His gift of freedom. Getting rid of the past is quite a present.
Maybe I'm the only one who deals with this ... but I doubt it. We all have triggers. When they are negative triggers they are commonly referred to as 'buttons.' Most everyone is familiar with the phrase "pushing my buttons" ... a confession (conscious or unconscious) that we have wounds in our hearts and/or mind that still need healing.
I'm not a psychologist (got kicked out of Christian college before I could get my degree, but that's another story), but I do know something about having to deal with my buttons. During the last year it has become apparent that I have several buttons ... ones I didn't even know were there. I'm a reasonably intelligent human being on most days, so I had to ask myself why I wasn't aware of their existence until this past year. The answer: nobody was pushing them.
Have you ever thought you were "over" something and then found out you really weren't?
That's happened a lot this past year. I married the most wonderful man God ever created and we are coming up on our first anniversary. The other night we laughed about all we've experienced in just one year - it seems like a truckload of stuff has had to be dealt with, on both sides. We have pushed each others' buttons, not even knowing they existed until they were pushed. It took a New York minute to find out they were there! We've gone toe-to-toe on several occasions, reacting to what was said/done as if we were dealing with the person who caused those buttons to exist in the first place.
It amazes me how our minds work. They are the most advanced 'storage device' on the planet! Every experience we've ever had, every emotion, every image we've seen, every piece of information we've ever learned, are all recorded in our brain. We do not consciously acknowledge all that is in there, but it's there nonetheless. All that is needed to access a certain piece of information or a certain emotion is a trigger - the password, if you will.
Suddenly you will find yourself - emotionally - transported in time to the place where you first experienced that emotion in such an intense way that it affected you for life. At least, until this moment in time.
Did you know you can diffuse and disarm the triggers in your life? I know this to be true because I've spent the last year doing just that. A big key is to realize that the people with whom you surround yourself now are not the people who hurt you. (Hopefully you've made wiser choices than you did in the past - I know I have.) It is important to keep your wits about you when a button has been pushed. Do NOT let the old emotions overwhelm you and deceive you into feeling that the past is starting all over again. Once you allow the past to become the present, at the very least it will cause friction with the one that inadvertently pushed the unseen button, and at worst it will take you down The Dark Vortex of the Past and suck you into hopelessness. Neither of these results are good, nor are any of the options in-between.
Here is an eternal truth that cannot be changed: What you feed grows, what you starve dies.
Because everyone's buttons are different, I will leave it to you to apply this truth to your own situation. You may not have anyone in your life at the moment to push your buttons so you don't have a button on which to apply them - or you don't even realize that you even have buttons. If that's the case, enjoy life until such time your buttons are pushed.
If you do find yourself fighting things from your past, now would be a good time to sit down and evaluate the button. Exactly what emotion(s) are you feeling when that button is pushed? What took place that caused the button to be created? Who caused that button to be created? Have you taken, or are you taking, steps to distance yourself from that person/situation so you can think objectively away from the line of fire? Do you have someone you can talk with - honestly - and who will be honest with you?
These are all important things to consider. But identifying the problem and answering the "whys" is not enough. We need to be healed, not just enlightened. Enlightenment just makes you aware that 1) you have a wound; and 2) the severity of the wound. Enlightenment makes you aware that you need healing, but it doesn't heal. Ditto for time. The old saying "Time heals all wounds" is false. Time puts distance between you and the occurrence of the wound, but it doesn't heal.
There are a few things that do heal wounds from the past: Forgiveness, Love, and the intimately personal touch of God's Holy Spirit.
I've touched on forgiveness in another blog so I won't go into all that. Just know that by forgiving someone you are not saying what they did was OK. It is never OK to hurt someone. What you are doing by choosing to forgive is handing God the permission slip to deal with them as He sees fit for what they've done. You take yourself off of the judge's seat and let God sit in your stead, trusting He will do what's right by you and them. Forgiveness frees YOU!
Love is not a feeling, it's action. It's a choice. We can choose to show love by any act of kindness, generosity, forgiveness, mercy, etc. Warm fuzzies are nice, but feelings are weak and fickle and change with the circumstance. Love is strong. It withstands much and accomplishes more than any fleeting feeling ever will. (Read I Corinthians 13 to see how you stack up in the Love Department)
God's love is the strongest of all. It loves in a way that is supernatural. It is not affected by life's circumstances or how it is treated. It has, does, and always will, stand the test of time. He promised His Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth, and that the truth will set us free. Free from our shortcomings, our sin, our wounds, our failures ... free from our past. He wants a bright future for all of us, and that can't be obtained when we're being paralyzed by the past. Allow God to love you and the Holy Spirit to heal you so you can receive His gift of freedom. Getting rid of the past is quite a present.
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